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If you were suggesting people buy you the Regency bed set, or appliances, maybe they all balked en masse. So there are two obvious possibilities: Your wishes were outrageous, or there is something troubling about your relationships. However, it’s strange that virtually everyone ignored your wishes.
Pregnancy from one night stand series#
A registry is a convenient way of pointing people toward what you would like it is not a series of commandments. So before you get in too deep, you need to discover if his heart really belongs to his mortgage company.Ī: Your first step toward recovery should be to accept that your friends are just friends and not program officers of the Department of Housing and Urban Development. Will your relationship be conducted exclusively at your place? Are he and his ex attempting to physically separate, or do they like being divorced, living together, and dating other people? It could be that living with his wife is a great way to keep from having to commit. Once you establish he really is divorced, then you need to be able to talk to him about what his living situation means. Given the bizarreness of his claims, he should understand that you would like to see a copy of his divorce decree. But first you must make sure he’s telling the truth.
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However, even if his marriage and his mortgage are underwater, this is an uncomfortable situation that presents difficulties for you. Then the housing market collapsed and many people who would like to dump both their domestic partner and their domicile are stuck under the same roof. And perhaps when she starts to show, the father will do some elementary math and draw some conclusions of his own.Ī: Yes, it’s weird, and if you’d written this about three years ago I would have thought this guy was a married man just feeding you some real estate baloney. If she won’t, you don’t have to act now, but you can tell her you will find it hard to keep this secret forever. Be gentle and understanding, but say you hope she will consider that in the long run, the truth will be better for everyone. I think you need to tell your friend that since she’s confided in you, you have profound concerns about her desire to keep her secret. Sure, your friend’s acquaintance is no Orson Welles, but every child is entitled to as much honesty as possible about this. I have been reading the reviews of the book Luck and Circumstance by Michael Lindsay-Hogg, who went through his life haunted by the suspicion that his biological father was Orson Welles, but who was unable to get his actress mother to tell him the truth. It doesn’t matter how loving and committed a mother your friend is children are interested in their entire paternity. Beyond that is the eventual issue of a child who will want to know who his or her father is. If someone has unprotected sex, he takes on the risk of becoming a parent, and it’s ludicrous that your friend thinks this knowledge would be too much of a “burden.” And unless your friend is independently wealthy, she will find that raising a child on a single salary truly is a burden. Not only does the father need to know the two of them need to work out financial support and talk about the father’s role in child-rearing. If it were me I would be completely outraged that someone prevented me from getting to know my own child.Ī: If she’s approaching motherhood in the spirit of deceit and evasion, that’s not a promising start. Would it be totally out of line for me to tell him myself? I am a firm believer in minding my own business, but I feel it’s completely wrong to keep this guy in the dark and have the decision made for him that he’s going to have nothing to do with his child. Even if he decides he wants nothing to do with the baby, I feel like he should at least know and make his own decision. I feel like it’s so wrong to keep something like this from him. He’s a decent guy, he just doesn’t ever want to get married or have a relationship, so she keeps saying she feels bad to shock him with the news. She has so far refused to tell the father of her child because she doesn’t want to “burden” him when she is happy to raise the baby alone. Secret Pregnancy: A friend of mine is pregnant as a result of a one night stand with an acquaintance. ( Sign up here to get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week. An edited transcript of this week’s chat is below. Emily Yoffe, aka Dear Prudence, is on weekly to chat live with readers.